Happy Birthday to me…
my birthday seems to remind me of how far I have come since my last relationship.
Years ago my birthday meant nothing at all and was a Tim Horton’s brownie, presented in a motel room with a deaf friend and a cat snuck into the room. I dunno why but my 19th birthday stands out the most, It was terrible. My ex never tried to make it special, no effort at all. One year he had bought a Jack Skellington wallet for me for my birthday but forgot to give it to me for my birthday that he gave it to me for Christmas instead. Had he done it properly I wouldn’t know this. Hubs, he did things special the first year together. He tried and the guy working on our place had over-stayed the workday un-knowingly. He had picked me up all dressed up and smelling sexy, got me gifts and took me out for dinner afterwards to his favorite restaurant. I loved it. My birthday has never had real happy memories associated with it so I tend to shy away from attempting to celebrate it. Almost a decade spend with someone who never attempted to make it special really makes for low expectations. Hubs has already given me a new salmon fishing pole and reel with a small tackle kit for a gift. He took care of everything, no questions asked while I saw my sister for almost a week. He bought me our favorite wings tonight since I will likely be working tomorrow. I really have to say that we have one hell of a trusting and wonderful relationship that I could never have expected or imagined. I am beyond grateful for it as well.
I may not be turning the big 3-0 this year, but it feels like a big year.. I am happy with myself. I am happy with my love. I am happy with my life plans. I am not the same person I was years ago and I hope that one day that will be recognized and acknowledged. I have not been the easiest to deal with or the most reasonable, I am deeply and sincerely sorry for the pain I have caused others and wish from the deepest part of my heart and soul those the best in life and in love.
Love and Light,
From my deepest soul you know who I mean, please know on how many levels I am sorry,
Happy Birthday to me…